Dear Friends,
Times are hard all over the world right now, but spring is finally here in New York City, and there is something about green shoots that help you believe that persistence can bring about change for the better. I wanted to share a story about a friendship that survived a breakup, but I haven’t been sent any of these—please do send if you have one!
I was looking at Medium (a writing blog platform) and found a great story about healing a broken friendship by the writer, Shubha Apte. It’s well worth clicking over to read her essay, but one thing that really struck me was that Apte included Aristotle’s definitions of friendship:
1) Friendships based on utility, in which one or both of the parties gain something as a result of the friendship (think: much of the modern “networking” enterprise, or becoming friends with someone because you think they can help you).
2) Friendships based on pleasure or those centered around pleasant experiences (think: people with whom you can have a good, carefree time).
3) Friendships based on virtue, in which both individuals share the same values (think: people whom you admire and respect and align on what you find most important in life).
As a creative writing professor as well as a playwright, I’ve taught Aristotle’s Poetics but I am no expert on philosophy. I had never heard of these three definitions of friendship and immediately started mentally reviewing my own friendships to see where and how they might land according to these categories. I thought it would be a great idea to interview an actual philosopher about these friendship definitions and see what they had to say about it.
Emrys Westacott is an author and professor emeritus of philosophy at Alfred University. He’s also my cousin, and we’ve had many long talks about life, writing, and what to make for dinner. He is also from the U.K. with an incredibly charming accent and a very cute dog named Jake.
I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did.
p.s. If you’d like to explore more of Emrys’s thoughts on philosophy and contemporary life I highly recommend his popular and very readable books!
Thinking through Philosophy (cowritten with Chris Horner) (Cambridge Univ. Press)
The Virtues of Our Vices (Princeton Univ. Press)
The Wisdom of Frugality (Princeton Univ. Press)
Rebecca Chace is an award-winning author and playwright, known for novels such as Leaving Rock Harbor and Capture the Flag, as well as the memoir Chautauqua Summer and the middle-grade book June Sparrow and The Million Dollar Penny. Her upcoming novel, Talking to the Wolf, about the resonance of a painful friendship breakup, is set for release in 2026 by Red Hen Press.
